Marriage equality

Last Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry and I support and applaud that decision.  You can read the majority opinion to see how Justice Anthony Kennedy arrived at his conclusion.  Here’s how I reached mine.

As a younger man, I was dismissive toward gays and lesbians.  I’ll confess to what the late Senator Robert Byrd called in describing his membership in the Klan as, “a jejune and immature outlook.”

I remember going to a party once hosted by an openly gay man (pretty brave for the time) and being petrified that he was “going to put the moves on me.”  He didn’t and I was probably flattering myself.

Later in life, when one of my best friends from college told me he was gay, I felt a sense of relief.  I suspected it, but never brought it up.  He has had an extremely successful professional career and is now sharing that wisdom as a college professor.

We remain in touch. He’s not my gay friend… just my friend.

Not long ago, another close friend told me his son is homosexual.  The young man is incredibly intelligent and has a bright future; the kind of person who has the potential to make a significant contribution during his life. Perhaps one day he’ll be married.

These individuals and others like them never pressured me to accept same-sex marriage or advocate for it, but over time I found myself wanting for them what I had for myself—a loving, stable long-term relationship that was recognized by the law and by my peers.

I am blessed to have one—it happens to be heterosexual—and I can think of no legitimate reason why gays and lesbians should not enjoy the same opportunity to build strong families and lasting relationships.

My evolution corresponds to the rapidly changing national opinions.  According to Gallup, in 1996 just 27 percent of Americans believed same-sex marriage should be recognized by law, but this year that number is up to 60 percent.

It wasn’t that long ago that most of America opposed marriage between the races.  In 1983, Gallup found that only 43 percent thought marriage between blacks and whites was acceptable. Thirty years later, it’s 87 percent.

I suspect many in this country have changed their views on homosexuality as more gays and lesbians have felt safe enough, or been brave enough, to reveal their authentic selves.  As they do, fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances are faced with a choice: Do they accept them or relegate them to second class citizenship?

The poll numbers suggest the former is the choice of most, including former Vice President Dick Cheney who has a gay daughter (Mary) and supports same-sex marriage.

The Supreme Court’s decision, while historic, may fade from the headlines fairly quickly.  Thirty-seven states, including West Virginia, already permitted same-sex marriage, so the high court is actually trailing the trend.

Ted Olson, a conservative and former Solicitor General for the United States, wrote in Newsweek a few years back, “No matter what you think of homosexuality, it is a fact that gays and lesbians are members of our families, clubs and workplaces. They are our doctors, our teachers, our soldiers (whether we admit it or not), and our friends. They yearn for acceptance, stable relationships and success in their lives, just like the rest of us.”

The high court has not given gays and lesbians a special right, but rather an equal right to enjoy the promise of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

 





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