Growing up in a small Boone County town – Sylvester – had its charms. The whole place was only about five or six blocks long by three wide, yet it was a breeding ground for life lessons shaped by some of the finest examples one could ask for.
My grandparents lived next door. The path from our back porch to theirs was well worn – my brother and I crossing it countless times a day. Evenings brought a rhythm of open gatherings. People would stroll around town, often stopping on my grandparents’ porch to share a word on this or that.
Minutes turned into half hours, sometimes hours, on one topic or another. Out of it came the benefit of truly knowing your neighbors. And when you know someone, care naturally follows. Not necessarily a tender, sentimental love, but the kind of care the Greeks called Agape – a selfless, unconditional regard for others without expecting anything in return.
Without the back porch, that kind of love feels harder to come by.
Today, we rarely know our neighbors. We don’t gather on porches much anymore. Instead, we gather online – not physically, but mentally and emotionally – through social media and other platforms. But that is not the same as real connection. It is a tool of communication dressed up as something deeper, with words like “friend,” “like,” and “care.” Pictures offer snapshots of life but miss the real happenings – the struggles, the joys – that help you truly know someone.
It’s just not the same. Not as deep. Not as powerful. And not nearly capable of building true community.
So is it any wonder, stripped of these staples of life, that we see events like those that shook us Wednesday? Is it any surprise how easily we dehumanize people online, say terrible things, and move on as if nothing happened – when we no longer know one another?
Deeper reflection will yield wiser words than mine, but the question remains: if more of us still had our version of the old back porch, would we be this far off course? Perhaps we would – why fool ourselves – but maybe not so far, and maybe not in such high numbers, as what we see today.
Yes, we need more than just the back porch, but it’s a good place to start. What are we waiting for?