Listen to “Forced to Use Deadly Force” on Spreaker.
Tuesday night was extraordinary.
A call for help came. A man had just been fired. He was angry… then despondent. He refused to leave. His boss dialed 911.
Dispatch said the man had gotten into a dark blue truck, but still wouldn’t go. His supervisor stood nearby, trying to reason with him.
Now… why is a talk show host responding to this scene? Hold that thought.
Arriving moments later, I can’t see him clearly through the tinted glass.
“Exit the vehicle. Hands visible.”
No response.
Then the supervisor yells: “He has a gun.”
Commands come again — louder now. Still nothing.
My voice changes — firmer, sharper than I knew it could be.
The door cracks open… but I can’t see his hands.
Then — the gun.
He steps out. Back to me. Gun to his own head.
“Don’t move! Drop the weapon!”
Nothing. It’s as if he can’t even hear me.
He starts moving toward the office entrance. Still turned away. Still holding the gun.
Inside that building — innocent people, many who have no idea what is happening.
Every second matters.
Another command. Another warning. And in my own head, a plea: listen to me… stop. Don’t make me do this.
But he doesn’t.
One shot.
Center target.
He falls and remains still.
What felt like minutes… was about five seconds.
Then — the screen goes black.
Because it wasn’t real. You knew that.
Why would a talk show host be in that situation? He wouldn’t.
For the past month, I’ve been attending the FBI Citizens Academy — getting a firsthand look at the mission of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Tuesday night’s exercise: use of force.
Understanding it is one thing.
Applying it — under pressure — is something else entirely.
And yet, that’s exactly what we ask law enforcement to do. Perfectly. Every time.
That’s not just difficult.
It’s impossible.
Think this is overstated? Try it yourself.
The simulation is so immersive, you forget it isn’t real — until the screen goes black. A second scenario faced is too much to write about — too emotional and potentially disturbing.
And that’s the point.
You don’t know how you’ll react… until you’re in it.
Neither do they.
It’s easy to second-guess from the sidelines. And yes — sometimes, officers get it wrong.
But these moments demand more than instant judgment. They require time to review. Context. And understanding.
And maybe… a little mercy.
Because until you’ve lived five seconds like that, you simply can’t understand it or even imagine it.
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