Listen to “Let Kids Fail” on Spreaker.
“Failure isn’t your enemy — it’s your greatest teacher. I’ve failed more times than I can count. But every setback gave me something valuable in return,” says author, pastor and speaker John Maxwell.
He’s right.
Yet when it comes to our children, we often treat failure less as a teacher than as an outcome to be prevented. That has consequences.
Associated Press writer Cheyanne Mumphrey recently examined what happens when parents immediately intervene after a child forgets lunch, struggles with a math problem or doesn’t know how to get somewhere. Developmental experts and educators told her that children need opportunities to wrestle with everyday problems because problem-solving is a skill — and skills require practice.
For all our emphasis on academics and expanding our children’s knowledge — both critically important — have we made too many other parts of their lives too easy? Have we stepped in so frequently that we’ve denied them opportunities to struggle, fail and recover?
These stats tell a sad tale.
A January 2026 Zety survey, conducted through Pollfish, suggests the concern isn’t merely theoretical. Among 1,001 employed Gen Z adults surveyed, 20% said a parent had joined one of their job interviews — 15% in person and 5% virtually. About one in five said a parent had contacted a potential employer or recruiter on their behalf.
One survey does not prove that parental intervention during childhood caused those behaviors. But the findings should at least make us ask whether some well-intentioned help has lasted too long.
Do children sometimes need us to step in? Of course. Some problems are dangerous, overwhelming or beyond what a child is developmentally ready to handle. Supporting a child is part of parenting.
But support and rescue are not the same thing.
If we continually solve even the small problems — the forgotten lunch, the difficult assignment abandoned too quickly, the minor conflict a child could navigate — we take away opportunities to develop judgment, persistence and confidence. Eventually, small problems become adult problems, and parents cannot — and should not — solve those forever.
We may already be seeing the consequences.
So, if Johnny or Sally comes home today with an opportunity disguised as a problem, consider pausing before stepping in. Ask questions. Offer guidance. But, when the stakes are low, let them do the work.
Our children will inherit serious problems — including some our own generation has failed to solve. They will need resilience, independence and critical-thinking skills to confront them.
Watching them struggle may be uncomfortable. Letting them learn from that struggle may be one of the most helpful things we can do.